Nurture Me

PERSONAL DATA:

        HEIGHT: 5’8 ½”
        WEIGHT: 125 lbs.
        CHEST:  31”
        WAIST:  27”
        HIPS:     32”
        SHOE:    10.5”

        HAIR:   black /
                        wavy            
        EYES: d. brown
        SKIN: brown

INTERESTS

A R T S
An  art  enthusiast  and  like  almost  anything  about  Visual  Arts ( Painting / Drawing ), Digital Arts, Performing Arts, Multimedia Arts ( (fashion)  photography, filmmaking, graphics design & animation ), Literature & Music

COMPUTER (GAMING & OTHERS)
Command & Conquer Generals, Sim City 4, Mech Commander Do enjoy making slide show presentations a lot!

FASHION & MODELING
Even though not a fashionista and not a professional model, I would still  love  to  work  somehow, someday in this industry whether as a production/creative staff.

PERSONALITY CHECK

Your first impression of  me  could  be serious and suplado ( sulky / bad tempered ).  But  actually, I’m  sensitive  and  quite hesitant in  dealing  with  others (shy) and quiet. But  when  we  probably become close to each other already, you’ll find me  often  smiling,  wacky,  funny, makulit (nagger) and talkative.

I always sing whenever I’m inside the bathroom or C.R. and whenever no one’s around.

I have no vices (no smoke, no drink, no drugs).

My voice is a  bit  small  compare to the normal voice range of a male. There used to be times that it   deceives  whoever I’m talking to over the phone particularly when I’m still young.  They thought that  I’m  a female and it’s kinda  irritating  coz I view it as an insult but on the  other  side, it’s quite flattering na rin (wala lang!). Nowadays, it rarely happens.

MY PERSONALITY TYPE ( ACCDG. TO THE BOOK “SPEEDREADING PEOPLE” )

Have  a  huge  empathy  for people and  can be  extremely nurturing and comforting to those I feel close to.

Open-minded and adaptable in small things, supportive and tolerant of others with alternativelifestyles. Also appreciate new and unusual forms of self-expression.

Not  bound  of doing  traditional things and often feel a little out of sync with the world. Take almost everything  personally  that  I commonly get my feelings hurt quite easily ( even uncritical remarks /comments / actions that unintentionally  offend  my  values  are  often  experienced  as  a personal affront and can be painful ?)

I  become  so  preoccupied  with  what  I’m  doing  that  keep me from noticing in the more ordinary activities of  the  outside  world  ( that’s why I’m frequently scolded by my father when he told me to do something that I usually failed to accomplish ? ). 

I’m happiest when I can engage myself in interesting and personally meaningful projects. ?

SEXUAL PREFERENCE

I don’t know how to exactly  identify myself. All I know is that i’m sexually attracted to the same sex but having  female  crushes is still  a  big possibility.

MUSIC LOVER

I listen to a wide variety of music (pop, rock, alternative rock, rhythm n blues, soul, jazz, classical, new age / world music ) except hip-hop, some new wave,  &  most of  super  loud  music such as hard rock and metal (but the likes of Rammstein and Rob Zombie um… I can still tolerate as long as related to the first soundtrack of “The Matrix” coz it sounds cool).

I really do cherish electronica a.k.a. electronic music like ambient, big beat, down tempo, drum & bass, house, some industrial-related songs (what I like here is the music itself and not the vocals coz most of it are so noisy), techno (intelligent dance music/IDM) and some trance music.

The artists / songs  that  touched  me  most are: Mandalay (Beautiful, Deep Love),  Bliss  (Kissing), Saigon  Kick  ( I  Love  You ),   Lee Ann Rimes ( I Need You ),  Sarah   Brightman,   Josh   Groban,  ( Remember When  it  Rained ) Andrea  Bocelli  ( L’ultimo Re ), IL Divo  ( The Man You Love ) and Sponge Cola ( Gemini, Crazy for You ).

OTHERS

- My daily pastime at home is goofing around and being prankish with my older brother. We always  wrestle in his room (hmm…). Actually, I’m the loser most of the time.
- I’m not a sports enthusiast coz I’m accident prone to it. Balls of any kind always hit me even if I’m not playing as if I’m some sort of a ball target / magnet – weird huh?!
- I love animals very much especially cats and guinea pigs.
- I like Filipino dishes ( adobo,  sinigang,  menudo,  kare-kare,  roast beef ), carbonara and lasagna, sweets and pastries.
- I  love  to  watch  Desperate  Housewives because of its hilarity. I also watch JKX on ETC, Faking It  on  Discovery  Travel  &  Living,  The Breathing  Room  on  the  Lifestyle  Network,  FTV shows, Jewel in  the Palace and other primetime shows on GMA-7 ( I’m a Kapuso ! ).
- The hottest movies I’ve seen (except from porn) are Y Tu Mama Tambien and Q. Allan Brocka’s (Lino Brocka’s Fil-Am nephew) Eating Out.

3 SIMPLE THINGS I CAN OFFER…

care – pagiging malambing, have a satisfactory relaxing massage skills and as to what others claim, masarap magmahal            ang mga nasa third sex! ( um… that’s what we have to find out further! ( laughs! ) )

virginity  – never been kissed, never been touched! ( WHAT THE HECK?! ) 

fidelity   –  you can count on my faithfulness

MOST MEMORABLE QUEER EXPERIENCE

When I’m told by my co-male cadet officer that he’ll court me right away if I were a girl while all of  us  were  dressed  up  like contestants in a gay beauty pageant, a tradition that we inherited from  our  senior  officers  as  an  additional part of our cadet officers leadership training during high school ( whew! ? ).

I  used  to be very particular with the physical  features I’m looking for a partner and set very high  standards as if I’m screening a fashion model for a photo shoot.  Of course, everyone is dreaming  to be with a physically attractive partner  as in every feature from  head to foot should be beautiful  and  well-proportioned.  But  due  to  a  change  of  view,  I decided to lower my criteria in physical  aspects  and  set  a  higher  consideration  in  prioritizing emotional and mental capabilities instead.

Sometimes,  we  look  for  what  we  actually  don’t have in other people that’s why  we  are  easily  attracted  to  them.  The  advantage  here  is  if  a  couple  has  different  personalities,  they  could  have  an  equilibrium  in   their   relationship,  a   balancing  act  in a sense  that  both  of  them will  both  correct   each  others   mistakes   and   will  help  nurturing  one  another. As long as I feel the   sincerity and the charisma, even if he’s just average looking and even  if we are not alike that much  yet has a blending/complementing/harmonizing  personality  with me somehow, then I think that we
will click!

What I find sexy, outstanding and flattering in a man are the ff:

( It doesn’t mean that you necessarily possess all characteristics for me to like you except the
ones with the phrase “a must”  )

PHYSICAL
           - wiry (slender yet strong)
           - taller and older (or at least has matured thinking if younger – a must) than me
           - has a long (either straight or wavy) hair and long neck
           - has supple lips with an attractive pout same as a model’s
           - has a nice set of teeth and a great smile (a must!)
           - has broad shoulders
           - of Asian descent
           - has androgynous/girlish looks YET, there’s still the astigin / tigasin (tough) factor
           - has a metrosexual, urbane flair oozing with sex appeal!
       

EMOTIONAL/MENTAL

             - has a good sense of humor and who can make me laugh in the middle of a  bad temper 
             - there’s a combination of serious and gentle side in him
             - having high emotional quotient (EQ) is also a must even though his IQ is average
             - knows the magic of a tender caress.
             - open-minded & altruistic

A PLUS
- a good singer and DANCER!
- has interest in the broad field of Arts & the fashion/modeling industry
- has no any kind of STDs esp. AIDS & not promiscuous!  ( a must )

CELEBRITY CRUSHES (LOCAL)
- Borgy Manotoc (Model)
- Brad Murdoch (the Kenny G.-haired model of Camay and Coffeemate.
- Kwon Sang Woo (Stairway to Heaven)
- Jake Cuenca (Actor)
- male model in the TV commercial of Carefree Feminine Wash (the yoga guru)

An ideal relationship should have the ff:  mutual  understanding,  giving and receiving support  and enjoying the loved one’s company.

Since  the  concept  of  human relationship  settled  in  my head, I’ve wanted to experience the  feeling.  I’ve  yearned  for  it, wished that I could have someone near in my heart, an individual  who deserves to accept my affection – that’s the time I wanted to be in love. 

We  frequently  consider  love  as  something  that  has to do with passion. Others accidentally  interpret  it as  lust.  But  many  of  us  aren’t  aware that  love  also  has  to  deal  with intimacy  and commitment. 

According to Robert Sternberg, a psychologist, “If there’s only intimacy in a relationship, there’s  only  liking.  If  there’s  only passion, there’s only infatuation. If there’s only commitment, there’s  only   empty   love.   But  if  intimacy  is  added  to  passion,   it’s   equivalent  to   romantic   love.  If intimacy + commitment, = companionate love. If passion + commitment, = fatuous/foolish love.  Therefore, if passion + intimacy + commitment, = consummate/perfect love.” 

What I’m looking for is either  romantic love or companionate love but I give more emphasis to the latter. As stated by Myers, author of a social psychology book,  “ Although love burns  hot,  it  inevitably  simmers  down.  The longer the relationship endures, It  will settle to a steadier but warm afterglow.” ( I’m not closing my doors for consummate love coz I would be truly delighted if I would be given a chance to go through that. )

ABOUT ME

Even  though  I’m living in my  own  world  of solitude and haven’t underwent  any  kind  of  love affair  before, I can  say that I’m  happy despite of the fact that I’m a loner. I prefer not  to  socialize  because I’m afraid to let the people  know  my  secret ( that I belong to the third sex )  & it’s  simply  because of  the  social  stigma  that’s  still  eminent  until  now. That’s why it’s so hard for me to connect with other  people  especially  dealing  with  straight men.  I  find it so hard conversing with them even though I’m   no  cross-dresser,  behave,  move  &  quite  sound  like them  ( except in times when I express intense  emotions of  course   like   seeing   creepy  crawling  things).  But no matter  how  hard I try to conceal  the  truth  about  my  sexuality,  my  true  nature persists to surface and I am still being  chased  by the most prominent  speculating  question  of  all  time:  “Are  you gay?” I occasionally shake  my  head as quick  as   possible!  If  they  only  know  how  it feels to be in  this  heart-gripping  situation.  Yes I’m a man… it just  happened  to  be  that I’m ( a soft ) gay. I know I can’t it hide forever but I have  no plans  of  coming out. ( Actually,  my  family  knows  about  it  coz  since  I’m a child, I already   showed some
tendencies &  they  corrected  me  for  that.  They  used  to  keep on telling me that if  I continue to act  in a soft way, people will call & tease me ‘bakla’.) 

Yet  on  the  other  side  of  being  a  loner  is  like  living  in  an  abandoned  island.  It’s also sad because  I’m  like  an  outcast  longing  for  the  crowd’s  attention,   always  being  left  behind in one  corner,  feeling   wasted   as  if  my  existence  is  no  longer   worthy  anymore. I really need someone  to  lean  on,  someone  who  could  defend  me,  fight  for  me, accept me and love me.

I’m not telling all of these details for you to be sympathetic and not also to lure danger (well, to those “opportunist” predators roaming  around  the urban jungle, I’m warning you, I have a relative who is an executive judge so you better BEWARE). I’m just trying to be honest from the very start and I’m  anticipating that you and I have the same case.

Though inexperienced, I’m willing to learn the ropes of having a relationship. Late bloomer as you may say but it’s never too late for a heart that thirsts for an eternal, loyal, true, and unconditional LOVE.

I  encountered  the  state  of being euphoric  many times whenever a temporary romantic  attraction  enters  my  heart  and it just ends there.  I  don’t  take the next  step. I don’t  take  such  risks.  But  for today, I’m willing to give it a try, a chance  to  happen  in my life and not just as a mere infatuation but as real love.

Greetings!  I’m  Evo, 21, from  Mega Manila, Philippines. Help me on my quest in searching  for  the  one  who could bring out  the best in me; who could add hue and  spice to my  existence;  who  will  wholeheartedly  accept  me for who I am and  ready  to  embrace  me  with  affection; and  as long as I’m living, to be my direction,   inspiration,  admiration,  and  companion  who  listens,  understands, willing  to  share  his  life,  and  respects  one’s  choice;  who  is  honest –able to express both positive and negative feelings–, warm, trustworthy, and responsive.